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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in MarsEnvoy's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, May 18th, 2004
1:16 am
Wasp nest on the porch
A hornet is building a nest on my porch-- about 7 feet from where I usually sit when I'm out there. I guess she's not bothered by me, because I was able to get a foot away from the nest to watch her work. I guess I still have good karma from 1998, when I moved a wasp nest at my mother's house so my father wouldn't soak it with Raid and kill the wasp. Unfortunately, that nest fell off the tree I had glued it to, but I'm sure I got points for trying to help.
Sunday, September 14th, 2003
9:05 pm
Everybody run! The Reptiles are coming!
Yes, the Reptiles are crawling up from Florida... ETA is Monday night. Which means I've got to haul ass to get the kitchen cleaned up so they can park their big fat butts on the kitchen chairs. (Note To Self: Stress-test chairs to make sure they won't collapse when the Gargantuan Family sit in them.)

Wonder if I have time to run to the store to get another can of Fake Smile.
Sunday, June 29th, 2003
3:33 am
Now... who do I call about joining the FBI? ;)

Current Mood: thoughtful
Monday, June 2nd, 2003
4:51 pm


Once upon a time there has a young ASTRONOMER named RICK. He was SLOWLY SCARFING in the SLAPDASH forest when he met PERSNICKETY JIM, a run-away GEOPHYSICIST from the IRONIC Queen SUE.

RICK could see that PERSNICKETY JIM was hungry so he reached into his VAT and give him his PERPLEXED CANDY CORN. PERSNICKETY JIM was thankful for RICK's CANDY CORN, so he told RICK a very IMPATIENT story about Queen SUE's daughter PAT. How her mother, the IRONIC Queen SUE, kept her locked away in a DIALYSIS UNIT protected by a gigantic OCELOT, because PAT was so CRANKY.

RICK WADDLED. He vowed to PERSNICKETY JIM the GEOPHYSICIST that he would save the CRANKY PAT. He would WATCH the OCELOT, and take PAT far away from her eveil mother, the IRONIC Queen SUE, and SKEDADDLE her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a LIVID RAIN and PERSNICKETY JIM the GEOPHYSICIST began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic OCELOT from his story. IRONIC Queen SUE INFESTED out from behind a BANNISTER and struck RICK dead. In the far off DIALYSIS UNIT you could hear a HISS.


Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com

Monday, May 26th, 2003
1:33 pm
The loudest car in the Universe
I should have known it would happen on the 23rd... that number has been following me around since 1982!

It was an ordinary Friday... I got up late, screwed around on the computer until I felt awake, took a shower, got dressed, went to the Post Office for stamps, went to the ATM... drove away from the ATM and then BOOM! The main exhaust pipe under the car suddenly disconnects itself and my car sounds like two motorcycles! It scared the hell out of me! I drove (slowly!) into a nearby parking lot and got out to look at the back of the car expecting to see my muffler hanging-- but it wasn't the muffler, it was something under the car. I had to drive this roaring car down to Munro and they put it on the lift. I saw how the main pipe (the big, EXPENSIVE one, nacherly!) was sitting about three inches from where it was supposed to be-- the gasket had fallen off and I was lucky the rest of the pipe was attached to the car. I got the estimate and drove it home... MAN, what a long ride! It was only 10 minutes, but it seemed to take forever-- everyone on the road was looking around to see where all the noise was coming from. I sounded like a friggin' stockcar! I'm a person who doesn't like to be noticed, so driving that car home was a lot of stress. And now I have to drive it back to Munro-- that's gonna be fun!

I don't do a lot of driving, but not having a car for a couple of days is really a pain because of dialysis-- tomorrow I have to call and get the van service started, because I'm sure not driving my car to dialysis and back! I'm sure I'd get pulled over by a cranky cop in no time.
Saturday, May 17th, 2003
4:05 am
I am a rude kitten with a little pink butt

Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sunday, May 11th, 2003
2:54 am
Thanks for the good cry, Randy!
A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin' on a midnight bus bound for Mexico.
One's headed for vacation, one for higher education,
And two of them were searchin' for lost souls.
That driver never ever saw the stop sign.
An' eighteen wheelers can't stop on a dime.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.

That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres,
The faith an' love for growin' things in his young son's heart.
An' that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children:
Did her best to give 'em all a better start.
An' that preacher whispered: "Can't you see the Promised Land?"
As he laid his blood-stained bible in that hooker's hand.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.

That's the story that our preacher told last Sunday.
As he held that blood-stained bible up,
For all of us to see.
He said: "Bless the farmer, and the teacher, an' that preacher;
"Who gave this Bible to my mamma,
"Who read it to me."

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, now I guess we know.
It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway.
Wednesday, May 7th, 2003
1:30 pm
Finally! A visitor at dialysis!
Rick came to see me at dialysis yesterday... I'd asked him to come down because it was my daughter's 21st birthday, and I wasn't sure how I'd be feeling. I hate having dialysis on her birthday, because there's absolutely no privacy in the unit and if I feel like crying, I have to do it in front of eight other patients and four nurses.

But Rick made sure I kept laughing, so I really had no time to cry. He also came over last night and we had some QST (Quality Snuggling Time). I decided not to do my yearly May 6th ritual of getting a strawberry milkshake, because I wasn't really that upset... on my daughter's birthday, I usually get a strawberry milkshake or eat strawberry ice cream, because during my pregnancy I craved strawberries and it felt like I was re-connecting with her by eating strawberry stuff. I don't know if it's because she's now an adult, but I don't feel the need to do the strawberry thing anymore.

Well, I have now officially missed all of my daughter's childhood... I hope that she's having a good life.
Wednesday, April 30th, 2003
9:11 pm
No way can they do this!
Would somebody please explain to me how in the hell they can establish a democratic ISLAMIC government in Iraq?

Islam and democracy are mutually exclusive... there's no way to create a hybrid.
Saturday, April 26th, 2003
1:10 am
I'm turning into such a "mush!"
My reputation as an emotionless Martian is at stake-- Rick is turning me into a "mush!" We even have pet names for each other... we watched "Monsters, Inc." together and now I call him 'Googlybear' and he calls me 'Smutschypuss' and 'Snugglebunny!'

Then tonight, we were talking about weddings since I watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" at his house with him and his parents... thank God I have my own apartment, so we could do some serious snuggling after the movie. I told him I wanted to get married on a beach, and he liked the idea. He said, "Yeah, we could both wear bathing suits so after we got married, we could literally 'take the plunge!'"

I can't get enough of the guy... I can spend all day with him and still not want to let him go home. I even kept one of his messages on my answering machine just so I can listen to his voice... it's ridiculous!

Current Mood: giddy
Wednesday, April 16th, 2003
10:24 pm
Got my hair cut today, just the bangs... gotta look presentable for Easter dinner at Rick's parents' house.

Finally got to see "Casablanca" all the way through... what a smart-assed movie! :) Claude Rains had some pretty good lines.

I just read that the Mars probes are being delayed... awww, what a shame! Personally, I hope the gremlins keep eating the probes-- humans don't have any business on Mars. Not anymore, anyway.
Wednesday, March 26th, 2003
3:24 am
Lappet-Faced Vulture
You're a Lappet-Faced Vulture! Unmistakable in a
crowd of lesser vultures, you are a strong and
imposing figure. You're very well respected,
and many look up to you. However, you
frequently come across as aloof or disdainful,
when you're really just shy. Because people
don't see you as approachable, you often fade
into the background at gatherings, only coming
out of hiding when someone needs your

What Kind of Vulture Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Monday, March 17th, 2003
8:07 pm
Paper wasp nest #2
Man, those wasps must like me-- I found the second paper wasp nest of the month! Abandoned, but still very cool! It's about 6 inches across-- the other one I found was only 3 inches across.

Maybe I'm getting a new totem animal.... hey, what better totem for a writer to have, than a bug that makes its own paper? :)
8:06 pm
Logical? ME? That can't be right!!!
You see the would in Red, Green, and Blue
To you, the world is logical. Everything happens
for a reason, life is scientific. You like to
find solutions. I doubt you needed to take this
quiz in order to realize this.

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sunday, March 16th, 2003
5:08 am
OK, I get the point... can I go home now?
Just when I think I know what I'm supposed to be doing, something fucks up and I'm right back where I started.

Or IS that the point?
Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
3:32 am
Karaoke tonight!
Sue and I are going to karaoke tonight... I'm planning on doing "You Gotta Be" and "Stuck In The Middle With You." I might see Carmen there... I'll try not to beat her up! :)
Saturday, February 8th, 2003
7:02 pm
Friday, February 7th, 2003
1:01 am
That's it
Rick broke up with Carmen today... she took it surprisingly well, which makes me think she's got one more trick up her sleeve.
Monday, February 3rd, 2003
2:58 pm

Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States)
brought to you by Quizilla

Pretty ironic-- considering how I was a Liberal as a teen!
Friday, January 31st, 2003
8:43 pm
I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, not-too-generous, not-too-selfish, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Holy crap-- that's higher than I thought it would be!
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